Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
