Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
