so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
