You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
