What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
