she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
