That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
