i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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