you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
