So drunk its hurt
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
