For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
