my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
