Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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