No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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