Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
