I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
