two words: eviction party
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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