remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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