we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
