This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just found puke in my bra..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
