ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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