I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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