i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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