I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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