So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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