Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
3pm strippers are depressing
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
