I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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