never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
