When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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