I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
