So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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