i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
