She's JV to your varsity
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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