Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
