There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
