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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
