You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
