belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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