i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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