i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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