i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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