and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
