Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
