You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
