If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
