Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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