I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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