So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
