Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
