You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
