anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
