people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
