Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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