Sry I called you an 8
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
